seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
