did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
