I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
