wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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