also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
