Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
