I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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