I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
