so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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