halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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