I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
