yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
