No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
