She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
