Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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