Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
