Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
