So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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