I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
