I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
