I think i peed on brittanys purse
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
