The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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