discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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