just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
