Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
