I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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