Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
