Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
