dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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