Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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