I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
