He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
