Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
