I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I deserve this hangover.
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