I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
