Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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