I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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