how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
