we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
