dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
