I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
