bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
