I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
