Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
