You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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