New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
