so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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