how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
