she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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