Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
