remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
